Sing Me Something Soft, Sad and Delicate, or Loud and Out of Key, Sing Me Anything

Happy New Year's Eve?

My knee kills, I'm single, I've been cleaning like all day, and half the people I wanted to invite tonight are on vacation or had other plans.

Not so "happy" if you ask me.

So anyways, Lindsey and Meliss are coming over at like 8:30 and sleeping over. It's going to be fun, I wish more of my friends could have come though.

I talked to Mark tonight. I was super happy. He said we have to hang out soon, and he's coming to my next dance performance at ECA. Yay(: I miss him lots.

I need to decide what to wear tonight.
I love to dress up, but I don't really have anything that fancy anymore, and all my friends will be in jeans and a tee probably.

My idea of a "Happy New Year" would be to get drunk with my friends, and forget the night. Like honestly, that's what I want right now.

Not in the greatest mood if you haven't noticed :P

But in all seriousness, I'm not. I'm in a lonely mood, and it sucks.

I really don't know what to write. I'll have a lot more tmrw after my friends leave, cause they're amazing(:

p.s- tmrw night I have the house to myself cause my mom is house sitting my aunt's house and my mom's sleeping there with my brother. So um, house party?
Seriously, if people wanna come chill, you need a ride here and home but lets party, but shhh.. it's a secret(:

*EDIT*
My mom said I could get drunk if my friends weren't here. But then it'd be no fun.
Cariss can come tonight now, yay(:
Uhm, I have a second blog on here, for my poems. (Most of it is old shit.) I copied Lindsey's idea(: Take a look if you want, it's nothing amazing.
http://lovemehardcore.blogspot.com

I don’t wanna get inside your mind or your pants. I don’t wanna waste my time with love and romance

A Lot to write tonight.

I know I'm obsessing about this whole Nick thing.
But like you must understand, losing someone you felt so close to is hard.
I still wish I never met him, but I did, and he's now a part of my past, of my life.
I miss the nice Nick that I once knew. A lot.
His birthday is on Friday. And I'd feel bad not saying happy birthday.
We were fighting on my birthday and he still IMed to say it to me.
I think I've decided on IMing him just saying "Happy Birthday, Nicholas" on my new screen name. He doesn't know it, and when he IM's asking who it is, I'll just ignore it.
Haha, he told me he doesn't like the name Nicholas. But I love it, and think it's more fun than Nick.

Uhm, in other news?
My room's now all white.
I got in trouble, cause like I took more time taking pictures of my painting than I painted.
My mom did like all the painting.
We had bought a tester of the color I wanted, which was supposed to be a really light pink.
We tried the color out on the wall and it was bad.
So I need to find a new color now.

So I'm going to get killed for telling you this story if my mom finds out, but..
Her headlight on her car has been out for like a month now, and she hasn't gotten it fixed.
So tonight, a cop stops her. He's so totally a rookie, it's funny. He walks up to the passenger winder and goes "Ma'am, I pulled you over because your headlight is out." So she gives him all the stuff (license, registration) and he goes back to his car. He takes forever and the whole time Lindsey, Stephen, and I are making jokes about him and about World's Dumbest Criminals, and it totally pissed my mom off. After like 5/7 minutes he comes back, on the opposite side of the car, ahahaa, and tells my mom she has a warning. So we pull away, and like always, my ipod is plugged in to the car, so I put on the song "One Headlight" and I died laughing. The whole thing was pretty funny.

I have my anxiety doctor tmrw.
He's a jerk. And I hate him, extremely.
He has no personality whatsoever.
And at 10:30 in the morning, he's the last person I want to see.

I bought a Motion City Soundtrack shirt tonight, FUCKYES.

An addition to things I think are cute (in a guy)..

1. When they can speak another language.

Lindsey, Stephen and I walked for like an hour/hour and a half today.
And this creepy possibly hobo guy kept like following us around.
And don't be like "Nichole, Just because he was a hobo doesn't mean he's creepy and he was following you." Because this guy was. And whenever he was behind us, he'd start walking faster. Finally, we're trying to walk faster to get away from him and I go "Guys, lets go in that alley so he'll walk by and he won't know we're here" and Linds & Beave were like "NO." and we keep walking and next thing we know when we turn around, the guy is walking into the alley. So then they're all "Good idea, Nichole." Haha.

Lindsey and I got the tickets to the Sing It Loud concert tonight. I'm like all excited. 48 days<3
Lindsey and I are going to Florida for 5 days for her birthday. I'm like all excited. 23 days<3

My mom just asked about how many classes I take at CSPA without VIPs.
I answered, 3, 4 with extra jazz.
And after I said that it hit me. I was like 'damn, I only take 3 classes'
It's so weird to say.

I had more to write.
I never remember what I planned on writing, ever.

*EDIT* (Stuff I forgot :P) :
Maybe I do believe in love.
Maybe I'm just afraid to believe in it because I'm afraid of feeling it, and then losing it.
Is it possible to love someone forever, even when they hate you?

Nick's brother comments me on myspace today and he's like "When will I see you at my house again?"
So I'm like "probably never, your brother hates me, haha"
Erik, (thinking he's smart?) goes "I'll invite you over to piss Nick off"
So I'm like "That'd be a bad idea, he'd kill us both"
And then I start picturing what Nick would most likely do in that situation. And I starting laughing.
Cause I would never put myself in that situation, and I don't think Erik is dumb enough to either. But it would be quite funny.

xoxo<3

I'm Not Saying That I'm Giving Up, I'm Just Trying Not To Think As Much As I Used To

Tyler gave me a heart attack.
He changed my myb password as a joke.
I thought it was Nicholas, and I was pissed.
Needless to say, I changed all my passwords (:

My therapist tonight? ALLLLL she talked about for the 20 minutes I was with her was Nick.
GreatFuckingNight.
I've never seriously wished I had never met someone.
I mean sure, I've said it when I was pissed but tonight I actually mean it.
I wish I never met Nicholas Fritz.
I wish I could take back ever writing on his wall, and telling him he was cute.
I wish I could take back meeting him on July 2 (?) and dating him.
And everything else.
Just like he says I was his biggest mistake in 2008, he was mine too.
The one good thing I got from him? Motion City Soundtrack & The Hush Sound.

We're painting my room white tmrw, and buying the Sing It Loud tickets.
Sched.? Around 9 a.m paint the first coat of white, around 12/1 go to Hartford and buy tickets, around 4/5 paint the second coat.
Finnnnaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyyy.
I bought like hot pink curtains today.
When we eventually finish my room, the walls are going to be light pink & it'll all be white furniture.
Oh and my small wall where the cork board thing used to be will be all mirrored.

Oh and New Years?
I might be able to have a small party.
My mom hasn't given a definite answer yet.
If I do? It'll be like Meliss, Linds, and Kayla.
I think.

I love guitar hero, but as of now I am going to break the drums.
My stress level is sooo high and my brother keeps banging on them.
I'll either kill him or break them. Suggestions?

Well, I'm done.

xoxo<3

I Wonder of Your Whereabouts and Hope Like Hell You're Happy Where You Are

I like can't help it. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep I think about Nick. Motion City Soundtrack put my thoughts into words and gave me this title. I mean, I'm happy we're not talking, but I still wonder and worry about him. I still care about him a great deal. Ben says I've seemed happier since Nick and I stopped talking. I'm sure that's true.

I now have black hair. It's decent, I'm happy.

Lindsey and I are going to the Sing It Loud concert in February. My mom is calling about tickets tmrw. I'm psyched. They're my second favorite band, with Motion City being my first. I can not wait for the concert.

Oh and Florida with Lindsey on January 23, so 26 days? I can't wait for that either.

I don't think I could be any more thrilled with life right now. Honestly. I'm so in love with life.

Oh yeah, hanging out with Eric this week. He keeps calling me cute. Yay(:

xoxo<3

You Would Kill For This, Just A Little Bit

So, I think I'm dying my hair "soft black" and getting a nose ring?
A small nose ring, on the left side. No big hoops or through the middle or anything.
My mom (who originally said no) said she'd think about it. I'm psyched.
I'm probably dying my hair tonight or tmrw, yay. I'm scared it'll look bad, but it's not permanent so it'll have the week to fade if it's really bad.
But I'm kind of looking for your opinions on the nose ring? Oh, and left side or right side?

My aunt gave my mom $100 dollars for the week til my mom gets paid.
Mom says we're using it to repaint my room and my brother's room.
But if you know the price of paint, $100 isn't enough to buy white and two colors, so all we're doing is white right now.
Hey, at least it's better than the grimy light blue I have now.

xoxo<3

They Say That What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Who We Are

You'd be proud of me.
I blocked Nick on myspace and I deleted him as a friend on facebook.
I'm proud of myself.
I'm also super flirty right now. ahaha.
I told a 21 year old we could run away and on cold nights we could sleep close together in the car?
What am I getting myself into? hahaa.
The bad part, it's all a joke to me. To him? He might be serious..
I guess in a way I'm serious though. Cause I know he wants me, and it's nice to be wanted.
My life will get better from here on. It already has.
I'm happy. No more bullshit or drama. Just fun.

p.s- check out www.youtube.com/accidentallyamazingx
I make videos for fun now(:

Before I Lose Control, There's Just One Thing You Should Know

List of Cute Things(Things I like for a guy to do?)..

1. Getting woken up with a kiss.
2. Kisses on the forehead / nose.
3. People watching Anastasia with me.
4. Long Walks
5. Making me most important.
6. Kissing me in front of your friends.
7. Not being two faced and hating me around friends but making out with me when we're alone(:
8. Calling me babe or hun.
   

That's it for now. I only like those when they are done for real, not as a joke.

My aunt Rita made me cookies.
I ate too many? I have a headache.
My grandma called and was like "Come over and make cookies!" and I'm like "Oh Gosh."

My brother and I battled in American Idol on the Wii last night, I won.
It was really close though.

I made a video on windows movie maker..
I thought it was pretty good.
I tried to match up pictures and lyrics, Rory & I have a picture where it says "Choking back the urge to fight." Nick and I have a picture where it says "This isn't working out for you and me."
In addition, watch the video and where it says "I'll suffocate until the end" is the color I'm dying my hair. Well attempting to..

I'm going to meet Eric soon. I'm excited.
He keeps calling me cutie, haaha.
I'm patheticcc. Stupid things make me like a guy.

Let's make plans over the break guysss.
We can play Guitar Hero World Tour. hahah.
But seriously, we can do that and other stuff.
So call or text, and lets chillllll(:

xoxo<3

Slow Motion, See Me Let Go

Thong shopping with Lindsey?
So flippen funny.
She looked so awkward.
I'd be like, "buy one!" or "do you think this is cute?"
Then we went to pay for them and I was like "Linds, I don't know why you're making me buy these for you."
I don't think she'll ever shop with me again, haha.

At the mall, I got two new belly button rings(:
One is a crown and then other is a pink heart/peace sign.
I think they're adorable, my mom said they're okay.

So, I was never a good girlfriend, but I've never been as bad as the one I'm becoming.
I mean, I want a hook up, and I'm going to use this kid who likes me, just for fun.
I mean, that's seriously horrible. And I know it is. But I still am going to do it. And it's not really phasing me.
I don't think I'll ever be in a serious relationship again, I'm beginning to take them as a joke.

I'm gettting pretty kickass in Guitar Hero.. well in easy mode.. haha.
I've played "Obstacle 1" by Interpol, "Misery Business" by Paramore, "What I've Done" by Linkin Park, and "You're Gonna Say Yeah!" by The Hushpuppies.
And I'm intending to soon play "Heart breaker" by Pat Benetar and "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World.

I really want a nose piercing.
I know, random, but the song I'm listening to ("I'm Not Sick, But I'm Not Well" by Lit) said "I wanna pierce my tongue, it doesn't hurt, it feels fine."
My mom already told me I can't get my nose done til I move out though.
Laaaammeeee.

I'm like the crazy ex-girlfriend. As bad as that sounds..
I mean, I don't like losing people, especially when the feeling isn't mutual.
Nick blocked me from basically everything (except Myspace & Facebook.)
I can't believe like he srsly replaced me, even though he promised he wouldn't.
I read Camden's blogs. She's all "Aw, Nick's so fucking adorable."
I would kill to comment and be like "No, he's a lying dumbass who uses people." But I'm not that bitchy.
I kind of wish Tyler like had told me not to get involved with him (and if he did..? Then I wish I had listened)
And that's chilll, "Mad" by Ne-Yo just came on.
Go Google the frigggggen lyrics.

I'm like freakishly obsessed with Motion City Soundtrack.
I signed up for the street team today. I signed up for the e-mail list and the text list.
I searched google and their website for shirts, but none of them were cute.
In addition, I downloaded the Sing It Loud cd today. They're pretty amazing too.

I want to request a therapist change at Parent Child Resources (PCRC).
My new therapist is freakish.
She constantly smiles, and she's bubbly about everything.
She's not going to do anything good for me.

Wellllll, I'm going to play guitar hero with my brother.
I think I'm going to sing to "The Middle" then guitar it the second time.
Funnn stuffffff<3 (:

xoxo<3

Hello Blogger, Post Number 1

So I switched from LiveJournal (definitely nicer there)
I plan on blogging everything here.
Probably no more myspace blogs.
I'm excited. It's a new start. I can't wait to officially have blogs on here.
The titles are usually the post number or lyrics to a song.

About Me?
I dance, I sing, I lovelovelove to walk.
I'm not a starbucks fan like most, I'd prefer DD's anyday.
I have a younger brother.
I hate being single, but at the same time, I love it.
I love hello kitty. I have a coloring book, lip gloss, stickers on my cell, a blanket, a calaendar and some other stuff.
I love Britney Spears' music. And I'm kind of a fan of her.
You'll learn a lot about me through blogs.
I'm in therapy and I have ADHD and slight OCD, and they think I might be biploar.
I think that's all bullshit, and they just want money.
The ADHD might be right, I can't sit through long things, and I have no attention span whatsoever.
There's so much about me, that I would never be able to write it all. So ask me questions.

I've seen a lot of people post what they got for Christmas, so I'm going to do that.

1. Truffles, Reeses, Tootsie Rolls, Whoppers, Push Pop, Tic Tacs
   
2. Hello Kitty Calendar
3. Hello Kitty Lip Gloss
4. Hello Kitty Headphones (probably returning for something else hello kitty, seeing as they don't match my ipod colorwise.)
5. Vitoria's Secret Mirror
6. Victoria's Secret winter jacket
7. Aero Sweatshirt
8. Dance Bag
9. Shorts
10. Leggings
11. $35 to iTunes
12. $75 in cash
13. $80 more in cash is coming
14. Hand Sanitizer (so when the kids I teach at dance put there hands in weird places and then hold my hand, I can clean it offff :PP)
15. 2 bottles of the Bath & Body room scent stuff.
16. iPod Wall Charger
17. Cell Phone Memory Card
18. Walmart Gift Cars (ehh...)

And I think that's it. It was a good Christmas. I didn't get super much but everything I got I reallllly liked. So I'm thrilled.

For a first post, I wrote a lot. So I guess I'm done for now.

xoxo<3