I'm Trying To Find A Way Out Of This Mess That I Guess I Got Us In On My Own

Have you ever felt like someone is trying their hardest to break you down?
And although it isn't working, they're still trying extremely hard?

I love how my anxiety meds don't work for anxiety.
Tmrw, err.. today, is officially back to life.
Dance at 8 and then homework and getting ready for school.
And it's giving me so much anxiety, and that makes me not want to sleep. Hence why I'm here.

Lindsey might kill me for this but, I loved it.
So I thought I'd share..

"I've given up on everything
My funeral bells have begun to sing.
Look at it this way, at least you won.
A broken promise but the deed is done."

That was my life for a while.
But the perfectionism is coming back.
And that means I can't give up on everything.
Even if I want to.

I feel like such an outcast in my family.
Here in Seymour, you kind of gotta be loud and make a fool out of yourself to be noticed and liked.
And that's how I've grown up. And how I'm changing.
In my family they all sit quietly and are like anti social.
They like always make fun of me and called me dumb.
It's not my fault they act like they're dead all the time.
But it's like, I have to try not to be myself when I'm around them.
I'm not a fan. Not at all.

Let's put this in Harry Potter terms, for you kids.
Since we all know how much you all love that.
I was told I shouldn't mention a certain someone.
So I was thinking about that tonight, and it's like freaking Voldemort.
Freaking "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
And that's kind of how this is going to go.
This "certain someone" will be known as "the-person-I'm-not-supposed-to-mention"

That's all I have to say, for now.
Oh, and lets hope I have better dreams tonight.

xoxo<3