That's my picture where I feel like I look thin. You can't see my belly button ring though :( This was taken before we got in the bubble filled jacuzzi tub :DD
I've had one of the best nights in a long time, (except for the bruise on my knee, but that's from dance, not tonight) but yet I want to cry.
I spent the night at Mark's house with him and his friends.It's like, Mark still likes me, obvs. And he kept flirting with me and I kind of think I like him. I spent like half the night against him or with his arm around me. And he kissed my forehead, which is something I find utterly adorable. But I'm like too afraid to ever kiss him. Why? Cause he has braces. I've never had braces and I've never had to kiss anyone with them before. Like what if its really hard or I fuck it up? Askldjsajslala. He just asked "if I try to kiss you.. Would you let me?" I feel so ridic for letting such a little stupid thing scare me this much. I answered him with "yeah." He's going to be in Seussical and he wants me to go see it. What is with guys and wanting me to see them in Seussical? Haha. But eh, I probs won't go see it because I feel guilty that I never went to see Nick in it. Haha, tonight Mark goes "I'm the only theatre guy you need!" And I was like "Well, I'm not that close with the other one anymore so I guess you're right." Other stuff though, have you ever left like the opposite sex's house and like you get that feeling that you wish you went farther with them or wish you were still with them (like making out with them, not chilling)? I felt that way after I left Mark's tonight. It was like I wished I had kissed him. But like, I'm too afraid. Blahhhhhh! I feel bad though, I don't think I'd ever see myself dating him. I'd just want to hook up, but I don't want to hurt him.
Dance recital is in nine weeks. Damnnn. I'm not ready for it at all. I hope like no one I know comes, not even family. One of the VIPs dances is allll on your knees. So now my left knee has a bruise that hurts like a mother fuckkkerrr.
I am so. fucking. scared. about school tmrw. I'm going to be in an anxiety attack probably by second period. Fuck my lifee. I'm beat, but I'm too scared to sleep because I know that when I sleep it feels like the day comes faster. I was up with anxiety last night too about dance. Only one thing seems to lessen it but I don't want to resort to that again.
I think the other theatre kid is me?
ReplyDeleteI was still under the impression that you were kinda mad at me. So I've been kinda just backing off.
HOwever, I did get that picture of the candles. Where was that? It was cool.
G'luck with Mark.
But don't do anything unless you're sure you like him. That's just not good for either of you.