It's Gonna Take a Miracle to Bring Me Back. And You're The One to Blame.

Today was a little bit better than yesterday. For those who read my LJ and know what I'm talking about.
I swear I must be bipolar though.
On the way to ECA I was in such a depressed mood and thinking about stuff I posted in LJ.
But after I got to ECA I was fine and I was fine for the whole ride home.
At like 5:45 I got really depressed again.
But I was fine again by like 6:15.
It's so weird. And the two moods are so different.

Speaking of ECA.. it might be closing.
I guess like none of the teachers are certified to teach and now they need to be.
And this sucks because I love CSPA to death but in reality, ECA is going to get me so much farther in life.
I guess we just have to wait and see.

I wrote out all my CSPA and ECA dances tonight.
It made me proud of myself.

I'm stressing so much about my weight lately.
One of the million meds I started like 4 months ago made me gain weight and ever since then I've been stressing.
My diet today went good, I guess.
I mean, I ate the right amount for a person on a diet (a cup of cereal for lunch & breakfast, two special k bars, a salad and a small dinner) but I still feel like I ate way too much.
And that leads me to all my other problems =/

Today in History we were working in groups of 4 or 5 and of course Rory was in mine.
So I had a pink cami on under a white shirt and you could see the strap of the cami and in front of everyone Rory goes "I remember that bra." So Christina goes "Woahhhh" and I was like "That's not my bra, its my shirt" and when I looked down you could see my bra strap too. So I'm like all embarressed because of what Rory said and he just sat there and laughed.

My last point of the night is for someone in particular.
Carissa,
I don't know if I can be friends with someone I never see. You're never in school so I don't see you there and I'm always busy at other times. I mean honestly, it bugs the shit out of me that you skip school to hang out with your friends. I felt I needed to be open with this because I feel bad talking shit being like "Why the fuck doesn't she come to school? Everyone else has to." but that's honestly how I feel. You say it's depression but I've been through that and when you're depressed you don't want to go out with friends and have fun. I went through it last year. Depression made me not want to dance or hang out with my friends. So believing that you can't come to school because you're depressed is something I have a hard time with. And saying that you can't come back because it scares you that you've missed so much pisses me off because when I was out for the two weeks last year I had to go back and face everything I missed. If you're that scared the school does work with you to get you back in easily. So whatevs. You can bitch me out for this if you want, or go tell people I'm a horrible person, but I just wanted to be honest.


xoxo<3